現年僅21歲的美國童星貝拉索恩（Bella Thorne），2010年就憑著迪士尼影集《Shake It Up 舞動青春》走紅，近年隨著坦承雙性戀、大量公開清涼照和宣布執導成人片等大膽作風意外成為外界評論標靶。也包括貝拉索恩坦言從小被強暴到14歲的經歷，21日，貝拉索恩公開「手指掰頭照」引用自己的文學作品，坦言童年經歷讓他以為「我能給世界的只有性」。
圖片來源/貝拉索恩 IG
迪士尼童星貝拉索恩近日挑戰作家和導演身分，和成人網站合作的第一部成人片《《Her & Him》》將在9月首播，而新書《The Life Of A Wannabe Mogul》也講述他的人生觀，21日，貝拉索恩公開一張上空掰胸照引用新書內容講述苦訴「整個人生就像被強暴對待」。照片中，可見貝拉索恩上空躺在床上單手還掰著自己的胸部，礙於尺度而後製打碼，面無表情地看著窗外，最後則是一張趴床照，背上印有顯眼的刺青「我愛你（I Love You）」。
圖片來源/貝拉索恩 IG
貼文中，貝拉索恩童年經歷造就現在的他總是在「男人」身上尋求認同，甚至認為「在這麼小的年紀就接觸到性愛，讓我以為我能給世界的就是這些」。此外他也提及，透過男友班傑明馬斯科洛（Benjamin Mascolo）身上尋求認同，並說到「想要他抱住我、愛我，想要他告訴我沒關係的，也想要透過他的眼神確認我是被接受的。」外界總要求他「獨立、讓自己開心」對此，貝拉索恩認為很可怕。
圖片來源/貝拉索恩 IG
不過經過幾次反省，如今貝拉索恩已經改觀，他不抗拒甚至接受他的童年經驗。文中，貝拉索恩反省為什麼要尋求更好的他或她「為什麼不能找到新的、能接受自我的自己」，因此她鼓勵外界主動經歷人生中的痛苦「我還在努力中，但我得從接受自己開始」。
圖片來源/貝拉索恩 IG
貝拉索恩公開自己的療傷過程，引起大批網友分享自己的生命故事並表示「看完我都的妝都花了」、「我們的故事很像，你不需要別人的認同」、「我也被鼓勵到了」至今該則貼文擁入超過１萬則留言和1400萬人按讚。
What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men... Everyone keeps telling me to be single, be alone, and make your self happy. But All those things sound so fucking scary to me. all I want is him. I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it's ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I'm accepted. Why? Because I can't accept myself. For some reason in my head I'm just not fucking good enough. Not good enough for him or Her or anyone else. And if it's not him I just look for the "next" him, or her Why can't I just look for the next me? Find me and accept me. Was it because I was molested my whole life. Exposed to sex at such a young age it's all I know how to offer to the world...or is it because I was raised to think I wasn't good enough. Not good enough for her or anything else. But it doesn't matter what happened to me.. What matters is whats happening to me right now. I can't blame my childhood, in fact I can't blame anyone for anything. All I can do is blame me. I blame me for not loving myself. I blame me for not thinking I'm attractive, I blame me for putting this on everyone around me. Expecting people to love me enough for me to love myself. But at the end of the day that will never happen. Because the only way to get to your end goal is to work through it. Not around or above or try and find a cheat code so you don't have to hurt as much. You have to hurt in this world. Hurting, loving, and accepting. That's what our emotional world lays on. Right now I only have one of those things. Can you guess what it is? Hurting. Right now I only hurt...but I'm not hurting for other people no I'm only hurting myself. By not loving me and by not accepting me. Usually these free handed writing bits..they have an end, but I don't have an end. I'm still figuring it out as always. So is that ok? Is it ok to know what your end goal Is but absolutely no way or idea how to achieve it. It's probably not but I can only start by accepting it. This poem is about mommy and daddy and me and you ❤️ #thelifeofawannabemogul
BELLA （@bellathorne）分享的貼文 於 PDT 2019 年 8月 月 20 日 下午 12:04 張貼
文章編輯：Ashley
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